Introverted or Anti-Social?

Is there really such a thing as introversion or exttroversion?  According to the famous Myers-Briggs inventory, I would be an introvert.

When there are tons of people around, noise from the TV or other peripheral noise, I tend to start feelling very tired.  It sucks the energy out of me.  I watched a young lady on a TED talks video give a convincing argument that some people are just wired to live quietly.  Introverts take longer to process information because they are just wired to do it that way.  

But I hesitate to use the pronoun "we", as in "we like to sit in the corner of the room at parties and observe."  Because, just maybe I"m really antisocial.  There's nothing introverted about it, I'm a snob.  I'm critical and I like to make fun of people.  This is sounding quite schizophrenic.

Was Jesus antisocial when He wandered off by Himself to pray, when the disciples finally noticed He wasn't around and went off looking for HIm??  Was He just tired when they found Him in the bottom of the boat sleeping, even though everyone else was on deck, fearful of the storm?

However we lable it, we know for certain that Jesus always did what was right, so there is hope for me that I'm doing ok if I need to just be away from people for a time.  Likewise, if I'm being an unfriendly jerk, then I know that is not  pleasing to Jesus and I should really check my attitude and not make excuses for it.

Discipleship and Social Media

Even before we had left Asia 4 months ago, I had noticed how the young people in our country were just as plugged in to social media as young people in the States are.  On buses, at school, whether they were at home or at work, the youth of our host country had already become technologically savvy and were now fully intergrated into a rapidly multiplying, online youth subculture.

Here in the States, culture observers have been commenting on the back lash of the amount of time teenagers and even adults are spending "plugged in".  Mostly we're seeing the negative outweighing the positive effects of this instant access to information and to each other.  Social media has encouraged a level of narcissism that's never been seen in America, at least not by so many of us at one time.

But one question that I"ve heard very few people ask in our churches is, how does this ability to be and stay plugged in to the world affect our discipleship efforts?  Obviously, like any other tool, the internet and instant, free, worldwide communications has given us a greater opportunity to reach the nations for Christ than at any other time in the history of the world.

But, I'm afraid that one negative result is that young people don't understand the value of staying in one place for a long period of time.  To plant oneself in one, local context and, as one former supervisor said to me one time, "dig down deep like a tick", is what is needed most in order to truly make disciples.  This is how we see transformation in the communities in which we live.  We want to see disciples who will grow and make more disciples.

Cell phones and 24/7 online access makes it all too easy for cross-cultrual workers to move from place to place, changing jobs, changing schools, while staying connected.  When, what is needed most, is to to persevere in one location, inviting others to share in the stresses and joys of life together.

This is a topic worthy of further discussion with young people who sense a call to work cross-culturally, or even those who would want to remain in their home country and make a lasting impact for Christ in their own culture.

A Long Hello

The day after tomorrow, we are scheduled to be on a 6:00 am flight out of my hometown here in the USA to head back to East Asia, our home since 1998.  My little family has been here in the States for 4 months.

What a joy, and what a restful time it's been to be with our family and close friends.  We've been traveling a lot, too.  So, yes, there's some weariness.  But that's really nothing compared to the close fellowship we've had and refreshment we've experienced over long meals, hot cups of coffee, and SEC football games with our loved ones.

God's brought a major winter snowstorm our way today.  I'm stuck with my family at my parents house, along with my wife's parents, and the airport is closed.  We hear from the weather on tv that it's supposed to be cleared up and the airport re-opened by tomorrow around noon.  There is a tiny part of my heart that wants everything to stay shut down for a while, just to have the extra time with my Mom and Dad.

Does anybody really like to say goodbye to people you enjoy being with,  especially when you wont's see them again for a very long time?  Goodbyes are not that fun.

In the early 90's, there was a Christian song out called, "Heaven is a Long Hello".

That will be nice.  What a comforting thought!  What a true perspective on where our eternal home and comfort is.  It's normal right now, on this earth, to have that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach, knowing you have to go through another pre-dawn goodbye ritual with your extended family and in-laws, as you head out for that first leg of your long flight back overseas.

But remembering our Creator, and remembering that there will be, indeed, more earthly hellos, as well as one, very long, Heavenly hello, helps us to keep putting one foot in front of the other on our journey with Jesus.

Having an Accountability Partner: Smart? Or, Not So Smart?

I think, if you are a single guy, to have a Christian brother that you can hang out with and spend some structured time with, as well, in prayer and in the Word, is a good idea.  Ask each other tough questions.  How's your thought life?  How are you in your relationship with God this past week?  What's He teaching you?  How are you doing in regard to being pure in your relationships with the opposite sex?

If you can do this without digressing into a gossip fest about others, or into ugly details about thoughts you've had, then this is a smart thing.  I've been a part of a couple of accountability groups that dwelled too much on the nitty-gritty details of the past week's sins.  That's not necessary, nor is it productive.  Or, guys would just complain and make excuses for their failures.  That's not exactly discipleship, either.

But part of being a disciple, and building more disciples around you, is checking up on each other, encouraging each other in the faith and in the battle.  We need that.  That's a good thing.

If you are a married man, I think that having an accountability partner, or small group, can be a good thing, UNLESS you are talking to those guys about issues that you are not willing to talk about with your wife. There is no other relationship whereby you are becoming "one" with that other person.  I talk to my wife about everything under the sun.  I would consider her to be my number one accountability partner.

Maybe that's weird, or rare.  I just would not want to be talking about issues with a guy, when I don't feel comfortable with talking about that issue with my wife.  That would seem strange to me.

Part of becoming one flesh with your wife, I believe, is being able to grow together in communication with each other.  In terms of human relationships, the husband/wife relationship should be the most intimate.

On Writing, Tweeting, and Instagramming

Writing is very hard work.  If you want to write well, so that others are interested in what you have to say, it's time and energy-consuming.

For some who are gifted in writing, asking them to stop writing would be like asking them to not breathe ever again.  They have creativity flowing out of their brains and their pours.  Even for them, I've been told, writing is difficult, and they sometimes get writer's block.

Writing does not come easy for me, but updating a Facebook status or tweeting just doesn't appeal to me.  I'd rather try to take time to write something meaningful, or at least helpful or amusing, to a close friend, or to my children, than to write on trivial things to hundreds of people.

Focus also means saying "No".

We are sent under the authority of Jesus to go and make disciples.  In our case, we're doing that cross-culturally.  I've learned to hate the word "missionary".  I'd rather just say that I work in the field of education; I'm a teacher.  And I'm also a Christian.  But, regardless of how you want to label me, what I enjoy and what I'm called to do is make disciples.

It's also true, that within this sphere of authority under Christ, He places me under the supervision of a brother who is also an authority.  I need to respect him, and be subordinate to him, as long as this subordination does not conflict with the authority that Christ has over me.

Having "focus" in my work means not getting confused over who I am ultimately accountable to.  I'm a husband, a father, a disci;e of Jesus.  There is sometimes a great deal of pressure by supervisors, organizational leaders to perform well.  I see colleagues who neglect their families for "the work".  I think that's a shame, and it's definitely not where I need to be.

It helps knowing that the work does not all depend upon us, to remember that we are just a very tiny part of a very big picture, and ours is to simply do the work that He's prepared in advance for US to do.  It helps not to believe in the hype that can come from being an "m", or field worker.  I find myself buying into that, sometimes.

What kind of witness would I be if I'm so completely stressed and distracted, and I have no peace with myself or my family, or with God?  I'm not talking about being lazy and unaccountable to anyone.  Jesus saw where the Father was already at work, and did those works.  There is so much freedom in this kind of service.  I hope I can keep this focus, with His help, until the very end.

Increasing Focus

The older I get, the more I find that I can tune out a lot of garbage and "junk stress" that keeps me from the really important, eternal stuff.  This is by the grace of God.  Tonight, I'm very thankful for that; my heart feels really glad that I can let go of a lot of the peripheral, temporal stuff of life that is probably what the writer of Hebrews was talking about when he taught on laying aside every weight and sin that entangles us and keeps us from running the race.

I hope I can keep focusing more.  I pray that I can keep growing in a life of simplicity.  Why waste energy on the things that do not matter eternally?  What's bugging me now is, could I have learned this lesson a lot earlier?  Can we only learn this level of focus with age?

So, what should a disciple focus on as he/she ages?

1.  Avoidance of controversies and arguments - This is spoken of in Scripture quite often, especially by Paul, and currently I'm reading Titus and found this admonition in that letter, as well.  This is a negative focus, but the positive would be to pursue those things that really matter... The fundamental teachings of the faith that are the major doctrinal truths that no disciple should compromise on.

2.  Making disciples  -  With age and experience and, hopefully, more wisdom from Him, how can we not want to pour ourselves into the younger generation of disciples, beginning with our own children?  I'm especially thankful right now that we will begin a new journey as we go back to Asia of supervising US students who will come to make disciples of the local students where we live.  They need to be challenged to make disciples cross-culturally by those who have already be doing it.

3.  Basic fitness and healthy eating -  You are a soul with a body.  Your body is going to rot away and die, unless you get run over by a train or such.  Don't let the body you have go to pot.  I don't know where that saying came from, but basically we should eat healthy and stay fit for the glory of God so we can keep making disciples and bearing fruit as long as He gives us breath on this earth.  Anything less is being very selfish, because if we grow old and fat and out of shape, we are creating work for our family and others around us who have to take the time, effort and money to take care of our bodies, because we didn't.  This affects kingdom work, because all that energy, time and resources could have been used for God's glory and kingdom.

On Wandering and Peace

Wigg-Stevenson, mentioned in the previous post, said that "the life of discipleship is a life of wandering".  Someone else has said that all who wander are not lost.

It's hard to keep our heart at peace if we just stay at home, where everything is a known factor, where all is comfort and convenience.  That seems like a contradictory statement.  There is a peace that comes from that feeling of wellness, when all is settled, life stresses are at a minimum, and we don't have to think so much about what the next step needs to be.  But for a disciple, that kind of peace doesn't last very long, until he or she gets a vague sense of restlessness, a sense that we are somehow missing out on what God is up to in the world.  It's as if we wake up late one morning and realize Jesus has already walked out the door to start His day without us.

There's a peace called the peace of God.  A disciple of Christ in this world is not really at rest and peace until he or she knows the comfort of wandering with Jesus,  The disciple already accepts that this world is not heaven, and that we are called to a life of trial and suffering and toil, but it is a life set apart with Jesus.  It's a life that is also marked by the pure joy of knowing He is glorified when we stay on mission with Him.

Thoughts on the book, The World is Not Ours to Save, by Tyler Wigg-Stevenson

I've decided that I would be a much better manager of the time God gives me if I spend less time on socal media, like Facebook, and start reading more.  So, hopefully, over the next few months I'll begin sharing some thoughts on wahat I've been reading.

First, just because I read the book, does not mean that I agree with everything the author says.

That being said, I have not yet finished, The World is Not Ours to Save;  I'm barely halfway through it, but it's made a good impression, so far.

What I'm getting right now is, bottom line, we who believe that, through Christ, we can make a difference in the world, often get discouraged and burn out because we try to make changes in our won strength and wisdom.  We get overwhelemed by the enormity of the problems we see around us, by the social ills of the cities in which we live.

We make the mistake that the world is our to save.  We quickly buy into the idea that God is fully behind whatever cause we are fighting for.  Wigg-Stevenson gives an excellent example of our flawed thinking and wearisome efforts by describing the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

I'ld never thought of the conflict in the terms he gives.  I'm finishing up a brief time in the States, and every time I come back here I'm struck by many things.  One of those is a segment of evangelical Christianity who feel that the only faithful view is to fully support Israel as a nation, no matter what.  This has always bothered me, for some reason.  I never could pinpoint the reason why, until diving into this book.

Wigg-Stevenson describes his trip to Jerusalem and the surrounding areas, where the conflict continues to tear people apart.

He writes about a number of Palestinian Christian families he met that are being persecuted by Israeli soldiers.  His point is that the Bible shows us a God who is not on either "side".  At one point in the Old Testament, a messenger of The Lord is asked about whose side God is on, to which he replies that He is God Most High.  God is God, and He is no respecter of persons.  Our part is to live our lives as Kingdom people.  God is concerned with His Kingdom, and Kingdom citizens, whether they are Jewish or Arab.

I'm going to keep reading.  I think there is a theme God's teaching me, lately.  It's far more important for me to bear fruit in whatever situation, on whichever "side" He has placed me, than to be "right" about my cause, or my organization, or my personal views on politics, etc.

Frustration, irritation, burnout:  these are the fruit of trying so hard to save the world around us, whether our world is, literally, the whole world, or our little neck of the woods, whereever He's placed us.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and self-control....  We can, by the supernatural strength of His Spirit in us, show the world- even the world that often persecutes us - the miraculous change He can make in a life.

Teamwork on the mission field: Learning from a Navy SEAL.

Over the last several years, I've found myself thinking  more and more about the Biblical comparison of serving Christ with being a soldier.  

I think the main reason for my interest in the military imagery in the 

Word comes from the emotional strain that can come from the daily drudgery of keeping my focus on the task at hand, especially right now, when my family is just finishing up a Stateside assignment of several months, having experienced the love and warmth of being with family and friends over the holiday season.  

There are numerous inconveniences experienced by cross-cultural workers that, over time, you just get use to.  They come with the territory. But during this season of my life, the strain I feel comes more from the pull  to be settled in one place, to have roots somewhere, to be near extended family, to have a 9 to 5 job and be settled into a community of people who speak my language and understand my home culture.

"Fight the good fight"

"Share in the suffering as a good soldier of Christ"

 "Don't get caught up in civilian affairs, but please the one who enlisted you" 

These are just a few of the commands from the Word that keep me pushing past my tendency to  rely on emotions.  They help me rely on His Spirit, grit my teeth, and take my next step, even when I feel like standing still or going backwards.

Over Christmas break, I read an account by a member of SEAL Team 6, who were responsible for taking down Osama Bin Laden in Pakistan, in May of  2011.  Something about a soldier's story, something about this soldier's experience, in particular, really encouraged me, personally, and confirmed for me that I'm on the right track.

Besides individual application there were also some helpful applications from his autobiography for  working on a team, especially a cross-cultural team working together in spiritually unfriendly territory.

KEEP IT SIMPLE  

".... like pickup basketball. We knew what needed to happen and all we needed was the basic plan.  If you know how to 'shoot, move, and communicate,' the rest will fall into place. When operations get too complicated, it tends to slow things down..."

Especially when it comes to special projects, breaking new ground, forming a new team,  and making goals/setting strategy, if a team "over plans", then the resulting complications can be paralyzing.

KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN

"Over the years, most of us learned to keep our heads down and focus on the task in front of us, and leave the speculation to others. It saved energy, if nothing else."

When on periodic Stateside "furloughs", it's easy to get frustrated with the inefficiencies of the larger organization.  Sometimes you feel no one is really in touch with what you and your team is experiencing at the field level.  Let God worry with the larger picture.

ADJUST AND ADAPT

Regarding the initial presentation of the plan to infiltrate Bin Laden's compound, the SEAL member stated, "we tried never to never fall in love with a plan, because that breeds complacency"

It's okay to plan, but there must be a readiness to be re-directed by our Leader.  Also, a formulaic approach to methodologies should be avoided, because what worked in situation A, may not necessarily work in situation B.

VALUE EACH TEAM MEMBER EQUALLY

While carrying Navy SEAL team members into the Bin Laden compound, one of the helicopters actually crash landed, without injuring any team member or jeopardizing the mission.  The  SEAL Team 6 member said this about the pilot:

"I know for a fact he kept the mission on track by ditching the way he did.  Everybody was focused on who pulled the trigger but it was a lot harder to land a crashing helicopter than it was for anyone to pull the trigger."

There is a tendency among mission organizations to place undue emphasis on the role of leaders, or to downplay  (even though unintentionally) the absolute necessity of those gifted in areas such as administration,  IT,  logistics,  hospitality, or support roles.

Someone once said, "there is a big difference between being a team member, and being a team player."  A team player will value and support his or her teammates equally.

LEAD BY EXAMPLE

My impression from reading this soldier's account is that he was not just a Navy SEAL, but part of an elite team of SEALS who were from a larger group of select SEAL commandos chosen to stand ready for special missions like the Bin Laden mission.  They are leaders of leaders, and each one had to qualify and be specially trained for their roles.  They already had had multiple deployments and led teams on numerous missions; they were seasoned and proven in battle.

Learning about his special training, his willingness to serve and be led in the most extreme conditions, as well as the SEAL philosophy of leadership  made me better understand his disdain for Osama Bin Laden.  

Upon  finding unloaded guns in Bin Laden's  bedroom, even though Bin Laden had to have known that the SEALS were approaching to kill him, this SEAL wondered,  "Was he [Bin Laden]  willing to fight the war he asked for?  I don't think so Otherwise, he would have at least gotten his gun and stood for what he believed. There is no honor in sending people to die for something you won't even fight for yourself."

My family has been blessed to have been led by team leaders and direct supervisors who have all been experienced in living and working under culture stress over long periods of time.  Some others have found it difficult to work under the leadership of people who have limited field experience.  An especially frustrating and stressful situation is one in which a supervisor/leader is making calls that are out of touch with field realities and on-field team dynamics.

The worst situation is to have a team being led by an individual who, like Bin Laden, calls others to act sacrificially,  when he  has never been willing - and is not willing - to do that himself.  The result is a lack of respect for and trust in those who are supposed to be Christ-like, servant leaders.



[SEAL quotes from No Easy Day, by Mark Owen]