Fine Lines: Should we have friends who don't love Jesus? [Proverbs 13]

Proverbs 13:20 "Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm."

I had a couple of friends in high school who really didn’t love Jesus. Oh, if you asked them, they might say they were Christians, they might even say that they loved God. But their words and actions proved otherwise.

While they were my friends, and we enjoyed laughing and hanging out together, I invariably found myself in situations with them where I felt pressure to do something that I knew was un-Godly, un-Christlike. I hated those crucial moments, those "Crossroads". I did not always make the wisest decisions in those moments, rejecting the truth of God, and choosing, rather, to sin with them. I'm thankful that God let me experience His conviction in times like those, and that He didn't just give up on me. I'm also so grateful for the grace He so often gave to respond in Godly ways to the pressure, and to walk away from those situations that would have saddened His heart.

Is it wrong to have friends like that?

Two truths we find in God’s Word related to relationships call for wisdom in practical application. Living daily in these truths can often feel like walking a tightrope.

Yes, we need to hangout with people who are lost without Jesus. Isn’t that what we see our Master doing, as He walked (literally) from place to place, healing and teaching, rebuking and preaching? Did He not stop to hang out with broken, sinful people, eating with them and conversing with them? Our purpose is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. Two ways we can do that is by loving Him more than anyone or anything, and by loving people enough to make them followers of Jesus, as well. This means God wants us to be with people, all kinds of people.

It is also true that we are not to walk in the ways of the world. The Bible talks a lot about walking. I’ve had brothers in Christ ask me, “How’s your walk with the Lord?” What’s the deal with “walking”? When we are walking with someone, it means that we are going in the same direction together. In life, it’s impossible for us to partner with a rebel of Jesus (we are all rebels against God before He saves us) without suffering harm, without becoming foolish and losing our way, without being sucked into worldly, ungodly ways.

A couple of practical suggestions: First, when you spend time with your non-Christian friends, make sure you’re not the only believer; make it a point of having at least one or two Christian friends with you. This makes it easier for you not to go along with something your unbelieving friends want to do that you know would be disappointing to God. It also provides more opportunity for you to more naturally converse about the things that are important to you, which, of course, includes your relationship with Jesus.

Second, don’t let yourself get interested in a person of the opposite sex who is not a whole-hearted follower of Jesus. Remember that the most discouraging moments of loneliness you may feel as a single are nothing compared to the isolation, frustration, suffering and regret you will experience if you choose to marry a person who does not love Jesus.

During high school and college, I would sometimes listen to the music of Wayne Watson. Great voice, great songwriter. Below, I’ve cut and pasted portions of the lyrics from a song he wrote called “The Fine Line” that kind of help illustrate what I’m talking about.

I pray that God will bless you with His wisdom today, as you walk the fine lines.

The Fine Line

by Wayne Watson

There's a fine line
Between taking bread with a lost man
And being consumed by his way
While reaching out in love
Temptation's right at your door
Guard what you're thinkin' of
It's a fine line

[Chorus]

So where do I walk, Where is my place
The straight and the narrow
The road of grace
Holdin' fast to You, Walkin' at Your pace
Walkin' on the fine line
Walkin' on the fine line
Walkin' on the fine line

When I hide my eyes
From the darkest of our life's insanity
From the worst of the world's profanity
I've gotta be careful
I don't miss anyone in need of me
It's a fine line--Oh yes, it's a fine line